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| Reaching out, waiting for a hand to grasp mine in the dark. Continually falling forward, trusting there'll be someone to catch me when I lose myself. Hoping that special one will take my heart and give theirs in exchange. Being made to believe I'm not alone, even when my closest friend can only be touched through the phone. Looking to the future where the ratio of tears of sadness and tears of happiness will someday switch. Looking to the past and wondering how I breathed, let alone lived. Being too tired to live another twenty years. Looking forward to a hundred more years of life. Questioning who will be there, how and why. Wondering about that first kiss. Waiting to write the next chapter. Resisting everything I want to do to you. Wanting you to hurry up and do them to me. Being pulled in a million directions and staying still for so long. Wanting to scream until no more sound comes out. Want to cry, break a wall with my fist. Want to hug and be hugged and never let go. Being held back and realizing it's my own arms around me. Knowing what I should do and say. Opening my mouth to speak and drinking cowardice to muffle my words. Running out of time, running against the clock, running from my life when I want to run to you. Take me, hold me down. Make me live in the moment more often. Run your fingertips across my palm. Show me you love me more often. Knowing I'm loved but I still need to be told in more ways than one. Give me a hug out of nowhere. Pat my hand, Hold my hand. Please hug me and squeeze too hard. Let me be a woman. Let me stay your little girl. Stay when I tell you to go. When I'm crying your name in the corner, please wake up this time. Please know when I need you and come to me. Please know what I need and help me get it. Kiss my forehead, kiss my tears, kiss me. Run your hand through my hair like you used to. It's my favorite feeling in the world. Stroke my face and let me rest my head on your shoulder. Put your arm around me. Touch me, in some way. |